Looking for love online can leave you broken-hearted and broke. Romance scams devastate Ottawa victims emotionally and financially, with losses often reaching tens of thousands of dollars. These sophisticated fraudsters invest months building relationships before springing their trap.
Understanding how romance scams work is the first step to protecting yourself from these predators.
Key Highlights
TL;DR: Romance scammers create fake profiles, build intense emotional connections over weeks/months, then request money for emergencies. They target dating sites and social media. Red flags: too good to be true, can’t video chat, always overseas, financial requests. NEVER send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
| Quick Facts | Details |
|---|---|
| 📅 Losses | Millions annually in Canada |
| 📍 Platforms | Dating sites, social media |
| 🎟️ Targets | All ages, often 50+ |
| ⏰ Report To | Police, CAFC, Platform |
How Romance Scams Work
The Setup
Creating the perfect partner:
Fake Profile:
- Stolen photos (often attractive, successful-looking)
- Compelling backstory
- Career that explains travel (military, oil rig, doctor abroad)
- Widowed or divorced
- Often claim to be from Ottawa or Canada
First Contact:
- Dating app match or social media connection
- Flattering messages
- Quick escalation of interest
- Wants to move to private messaging
Building the Relationship
Investing time for bigger returns:
Grooming Period:
- Daily communication (texts, calls, emails)
- Increasingly romantic language
- Shares “personal” details and photos
- Asks about your life, interests, family
- Creates sense of intimacy and trust
Excuses for Not Meeting:
- Working overseas
- Military deployment
- Business travel
- Family emergency
- Pandemic restrictions (past excuse)
Can’t Video Chat Because:
- Poor internet connection
- Camera broken
- Time zone issues
- Security restrictions
Illustrative image only.
The Money Request
How It Happens
After emotional investment:
Common Scenarios:
- “I’ve been robbed and need money to get home”
- “I need surgery but my insurance won’t cover it”
- “I’m stuck at customs and need fees paid”
- “I want to visit you but can’t afford the ticket”
- “I have a business opportunity but need investment”
Escalation Pattern:
- First request is often small (testing)
- Follow-up requests increase
- Promises to repay soon
- Creates urgency
- Emotional manipulation if you hesitate
Payment Methods
How scammers want money:
Preferred Methods:
- Wire transfers (Western Union, MoneyGram)
- Gift cards (iTunes, Google Play, Steam)
- Cryptocurrency
- Direct bank transfers
Why These Methods:
- Difficult to trace
- Nearly impossible to recover
- Instant availability to criminal
- Crosses international borders easily
Red Flags
Profile Warning Signs
Be suspicious if:
- Photos look too professional/perfect
- Very few photos available
- Inconsistencies in story
- Claims high-status job but poor grammar
- Recently created profile
- Few friends/connections on social media
Communication Red Flags
Watch for:
- Professes love very quickly
- Always has excuses for not meeting
- Can’t do video calls
- Asks lots of questions, vague about themselves
- Story has inconsistencies
- Communication feels scripted
Financial Red Flags
Stop immediately if:
- Any request for money
- Asks for financial details
- Sends you money to forward (money laundering)
- Investment opportunity presented
- Requests gift card codes
- Asks you to accept packages (reshipping scam)
Illustrative image only.
Protecting Yourself
Online Dating Safety
Practice safe dating:
Profile Verification:
- Reverse image search their photos
- Google their name with “scam”
- Check social media presence
- Look for inconsistencies
Communication Boundaries:
- Insist on video chat early
- Notice if they avoid certain topics
- Watch for scripted responses
- Don’t share financial information
Meeting in Person:
- Meet in public places
- Tell someone where you’re going
- Don’t accept travel to meet them
- Trust your instincts
Absolute Rules
Never do these things:
- Send money to someone you haven’t met in person
- Share banking or financial information
- Accept money to forward to someone else
- Send intimate photos (can be used for blackmail)
- Give gift card codes to anyone
If You Suspect a Scam
Taking Action
Steps to verify:
- Reverse image search their photos (Google Images, TinEye)
- Search their name with “scam” or “fraud”
- Insist on video chat—real people will accommodate
- Ask specific questions about their claimed location/job
- Share concerns with trusted friend or family
Ending Contact
If confirmed suspicious:
- Stop all communication immediately
- Don’t explain or confront (they may manipulate)
- Block on all platforms
- Report to the platform
- Report to Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre
- Don’t feel guilty—they’re criminals
If You’ve Sent Money
Immediate Steps
Take action quickly:
- Stop sending money immediately
- Contact your bank/financial institution
- Report to Ottawa Police: 613-236-1222
- Report to CAFC: 1-888-495-8501
- Report to the platform where you met
- Document all communications
Recovery Reality
Understand the challenges:
- Wire transfers rarely recovered
- Gift card funds usually gone
- International criminals hard to catch
- Focus on stopping further losses
- Emotional recovery takes time
Emotional Support
Getting help:
- This is not your fault
- Criminals are professional manipulators
- Many intelligent people are victims
- Consider counseling
- Talk to trusted friends/family
Common Scammer Profiles
Military Romance Scam
Claiming military service:
- Deployed overseas
- Can’t video chat due to security
- Needs money for leave/return home
- Claims military blocks financial access
- Uses real soldiers’ stolen photos
Reality: Military members have banking access and don’t need money wired.
Overseas Professional
Working abroad:
- Doctor in war zone
- Engineer on oil rig
- UN worker in Africa
- Business person traveling
Reality: Professionals overseas have access to their own funds.
Widowed with Children
Emotional manipulation:
- Spouse died tragically
- Children may be mentioned
- Appeals to caretaking instinct
- Creates deep emotional connection
Reality: Story is entirely fabricated.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can scammers fake video calls? A: Some use pre-recorded videos or deepfakes, but it’s difficult. Insist on real-time video chat with specific requests (hold up fingers, wave, etc.).
Q: I sent intimate photos—what should I do? A: Don’t send money if they threaten to release photos (sextortion). Report to police and CAFC. Block contact. This is a crime.
Q: The person sent me money—is that safe? A: No! This is likely money laundering. The funds are stolen, and you could face legal consequences for forwarding them.
Q: I’ve been talking to this person for months—surely they’re real? A: Time invested means nothing. Scammers build relationships over many months specifically to establish trust. Duration doesn’t equal legitimacy.
Q: Could my online relationship actually be real? A: It’s possible, but protect yourself. Anyone who truly cares won’t ask for money before meeting. Verify identity through video chat and refuse financial requests.
Final Thoughts
Romance scams cause devastating harm because they exploit our most human desires—connection, love, companionship. The criminals behind these scams are professionals who spend months carefully building trust before extracting money.
The best protection is simple: never send money to someone you haven’t met in person, no matter how real the relationship feels. Real love doesn’t ask for wire transfers. Real partners can video chat. Real relationships can wait until you meet face to face.
If you’ve been victimized, remember: you are not alone, and this is not your fault. These criminals are skilled manipulators. Report the crime, seek support, and help warn others.
Source: Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, Ottawa Police Service, Competition Bureau Canada - Compiled for Via Ottawa readers.
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